Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Rash vest



My work uniform is not very flattering...

As part of my uniform at work I wear something called a rash vest. Which is probably best described as a skintight lycra top. 

It's awful! At least it is when you're anything other than... say a professional swimmer, equipped with the perfect swimmers body. That's because it's super tight and hugs you in all the wrong places. Making you feel super self conscious. Especially just after Christmas when you had two weeks off work and all you did was eat and watch tv all day, every day. 

Luckily however there are two small saving graces. 
1. I rarely, if ever wear the rash vest without a wetsuit underneath. Which although it doesn't necessarily conceal all of your flabby bit, it is a tad more flattering than wearing the vest on its own. 
2. As the weeks wear on, the rash vest starts to perish. Which - happily - means that itt gets baggier and baggier - and therefore a little more flattering - before ultimately losing all elasticity altogether and becoming pretty much unwearable.

Unfortunately - in terms of my current self confidence and pride - however, we get a new rash vest at the beginning of each term. Therefore, just a week into the new term and new year, 
1. is having very little effect at cloaking my "Christmas belly" and 
2. hasn't started to kick in yet. It's still as tight as a pair of Spanx, only - unfortunatley for me - without any of the spare tyre hiding properties that Spanx are famous for. 

My work uniform really isn't very flattering... at least not on me! 

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