Friday, 13 December 2013

Swim dating


























The swimming pool as a place to meet someone?

Where do people meet their partners these days? The internet mostly I think? Also at work, uni, in a club... maybe? I certainly don't know where the best place to meet people is? I don't know if anyone does.

I seem to know a lot of people who are struggling to meet someone at the moment. I think that's maybe because of my age and the age of my friends? People get into their late twenties and early thirties and if they're single they start to panic about settling down and having a family etc (not everyone of course but a very good percentage).

So I was thinking about the good and bad points of the different places that you can meet people. Which ultimately (because I spend so much of my time there and because I have a huge crush on a girl there) brought me to the swimming pool (as a place to meet people).


The good and the bad things about meeting someone at a swimming pool.

The good thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that you have a pretty good idea of what they look like naked.

The bad thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that they have a pretty good idea of what you look like naked (unless you have good body confidence and you might then see this as a positive).


The good thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that people tend to have a swimming routine to fit in with work and socialising etc and so - in a slightly stalker-ish way - you can adjust your schedule so that you know you are likely to bump into them on certain days. Giving you time to build up a rapport with them before asking them out (or in my case several weeks to grow some balls and actually speak to her).

The bad thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that unless you bump into them upon arriving or leaving the building, the likelihood is that while you are talking to them / asking them out, you will be practically naked. This can only make an awkward situation even more awkward than it already was.


The good thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that although you are practically naked which makes things really awkward. They are also practically naked which makes you feel better about being practically naked as you speak to the most beautiful girl you've ever seen (or at least today).

The bad thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that potentially making them feel awkward about being practically naked while a strange man talks to them can never be a good thing.


The good thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that if she looks that beautiful while she is wearing a swimming cap and goggles. Just wait until you see her later after she has gotten changed and done her hair etc - WOW!

The bad thing about meeting someone at the swimming pool is that the chances are that you are going to look like utter shite!


But then all of this is slightly arbitrary for me as I tend to have three recognised responses to potential romance (which tend to balls it all up regardless):


  • She is so beautiful. There is no way you could ever speak to her. What would you say? Not that it matters what you say because you haven't a hope in hell! So you just shouldn't bother trying.
  • That girl just smiled at you. Yes, you're in there! (this also sometimes works with a simple look in my direction, no smile required).
  • She just spoke to you. Get in there. She definitely wants you! But be careful, she's a woman in her mid to late twenties and therefore clearly wants to have your babies. 

There is simply no helping me!
(slightly exaggerated for comedy purposes).


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