Friday, 1 November 2013

As dry as...


























I've never bothered with it before but it appears as though the time might finally have come for me to start using moisturiser. And although I'm not completely sure what it is, maybe 'body butter' too. After all what do I actually have against using moisturiser? 

For years, me mum, sisters and ex-girlfriends have all tried to get me to use moisturiser. I've even bought it or had it bought for me a couple of times but it mostly just sat in a corner gathering dust. Why have I always resisted? I think part of it is that where I grew up - a small town in North Wales - and when I grew up - I was born in 1983 - it just wasn't the done thing. It still isn't to a certain degree. In my home town men are men and men like football, girls and beer and don't wear "women's products". Things started to change a little a few years ago when footballers started waxing their chests - I don't have too worry about that too much -  but still I think using moisturiser was a little frowned upon. It wasn't the done thing. Except I bet all my mates were all doing it in secret.

But nowadays it's a bit different and I live in "that there London" a City where pretty much anything goes. I'm also a poet and so most people probably think I'm a bit of a ponce anyway. Also in reality I'm not really against using moisturiser. I think I was at some point but now I think that I should start using it. I'm not getting any younger. Although my baby face doesn't give it away. I turn old (otherwise known as 30) in a couple of days and although I don't look it. If you look closely enough there will be a shedload of wrinkles winking back at you (slight exaggeration). So not only should I start using it now but I hold my hands up. I should have started using it years ago.

But it's not really the whole macho thing. Yeah that probably played a part when I was younger but the the main reasons - there are two - that I don't use moisturiser are:

  • I'm lazy.
  • It costs too much.

I'm lazy. I like to take pride in my appearance. I like clothes and have my own style. Nothing too fancy. Mostly skinny jeans and hightop trainers but my appearance matters to me. A bit scruffy is ok. But I like to be clean. I shower daily and I brush my teeth as often as I can remember but in fairness that's about as far as it goes. Anything else just seems like a bit too much of an effort. Case in point. I have facial hair. Not a lot but as much as will grow. Partly because I like the way it looks. Partly because I just can't be bothered shaving everyday. So if I find shaving boring you can imagine the thought of moisturising seems like way too much of a chore.

And I'm a bit tight. Partly because I'm currently not earning a great deal and therefore constantly skint. It's hard to buy a £7 moisturiser when you think "that's the amount of money I get paid for being poolside for one whole hour". Is moisturiser worth one whole hour of total boredom? In the long run it probably is but my brain doesn't tend to think like that. & partly because I'm just a bit tight with money sometimes (something I'm trying to change about myself). 

But I know I will have to relent and buy some moisturiser. My skin is just too dry! Mostly my face and right shin (weirdly). My face stings whenever I put fresh water on it. Like it's not used to it. Like I'm a Vampire and it's Holy water. And my right shin has been itching like mad recently and I don't have any freshly sharpened pencils to give it a good scratch with. But then I do swim 5 times a week, spending over an hour in a chlorinated swimming pool each time. So what do I expect? It's drying me out. My skin is as dry as...

I google 'My skin is as dry as' and these are some of the best ones that I found.

My skin is as dry as:

  • a nun's gusset 
  • a dead dingo's donger
  • a bull's bum going up a hill backwards

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