Moving back to London I thought I might finally be able to start eating healthily. Something that is always super important but especially when you're in training for an event such as crossing the channel.
It was so hard to eat properly while staying at parents house in Wales. That house is the house of bread and chocolate. Literally all I ate for 3 weeks was - bread, potatoes, meat and chocolate. And I'm not putting the blame onto my mum. Although she was the one doing the majority of the shopping, filling the fridge with ham and pate - pretty much exclusively - and constantly buying me the sweets and chocolate she knows I can't resist. But of course I have to take the majority of the blame for having
I have willpower when it comes to buying food. I will go to the supermarket and buy lots of the things I need for a nice balanced diet: salmon, rice, vegetables, fruit etc. & as long as I don't go food shopping when I'm hungry, I will come away without the biscuits, cakes, chocolate and sweets that I love so much. But - and it's a big butt - if it's there in front of me or I know that it's sitting there in the sweet cupboard - that's a big part of the problem. we've always had a sweet cupboard at home - then I have to eat it. I can't resist.
So I was really looking forward to living in my own place again. Buying and eating my own food again. Because you can't eat a full toblerone at 2am if you don't buy one in the first place :).
But there are three problems. 1. I don't like cooking. I find it stressful not relaxing and time spent cooking is time that could be spent doing something I enjoy. So the temptation to eat takeaways, ready meals or easily cooked, unhealthy meals is just too great. 2. I get cravings (something that has quite possibly rubbed off from an ex-girlfriend). Sometimes it takes the form of: all I want to eat for days on end is salmon, rice and peppers (a good craving in this. it happens sometimes). Other times it's takes the form of seeing something in the supermarket and wanting it and if I don't get it I continue to crave it for days. Normally until I cave in and buy it or start to crave something else instead. For the last couple of days it's been Apple Tango (and I never normally drink fizzy drinks). This kind of craving can also manifests itself as a simple craving for something sweet. And the more I eat sweet things the worse it gets. If I can break the usual cycle of eating chocolate everyday and go a day without eating it, I can usually go for two, three, four, five days without eating any. It somehow seems to get easier. However, when I eat it again (and of course I always do), I want it all the time! 3. I can't resist eating something that is placed in front of me. If I have a chocolate bar, packet of sweets, a cake. No matter what it is or how big it is. If I start it, it is almost impossible for me not to finish it. Even if I hide it away in a cupboard but especially if it is in eye shot.
And the thing is I have will power. When I truly decide to do something I do it. When I gave up alcohol in May, I gave it up for good. I have since been on stag dos, to weddings, birthday parties, book launches the lot and not drank and I don't think I ever will again. When I finally decided to do this swim, that was it. I will complete this swim! But when it comes to my sweet tooth, I find it almost impossible to resist. And so I hope it doesn't come to this but cutting things out completely might be the only way.
Trying to restrict myself to the odd thing every now and again, simply isn't working. As is proved by the fact that I ate nothing but a 200g bag of sweet chilli flavour covered peanuts for my tea last night and sausage and chips from the chippy for my tea tonight. Plus biscuits and chocolate and all manner of lovely but bad for me foods (before, after and in between). Not quite the effort to eat healthily I was hoping for after settling into my new North East London abode.